Help Me Dalton!

Not only is the swine flue killing everyone in Ontario, but we read in the news today that our ash trees are infested with a killer bug!

The Emerald Ash Borer is a busy little fellow (and fellette - no offence intended to the feminist beetle community). He/she is busy laying eggs in our ashes, and apparently the larvae are not good for the trees' quality of life; i.e. they die.

According to today's Ottawa Citizen, "There is no known practical way of stopping the bug, and if one isn't found, all ash trees in the city - about 25 per cent of all trees - are expected to die in 10 to 15 years. About 90,000 property owners in the city will be affected. Government officials estimate 30 to 40 per cent of all trees in Eastern Ontario are ash, and will suffer the same fate."

The situation is so bad in the Ottawa/Hull area that a quarantine has been imposed by the Ontario Ministry of Agriculture. Under the Plant Protection Act we can't remove ashes from their habitat for fear of spreading the problem. Basically we can't go dragging our ashes about without begin fined by the ash protection squad. I only hope these lads and laddettes will also stop the beetles from leaving the quarantine area. I'm sure when the little borers see the quarantinos and their barbwire perimeter fences, they'll think twice before leaving their partner beetles and little larvae in search of a new piece of ash.

Wait! I'm told by my sources that there is a remedy! It's called Bayer Advanced Garden Tree and Shrub Insect Control! Hallelujah!

Whew! that was close.

Wait! I'm told by my sources that Mother Dalton banned all insecticides on Earth Day last week.

Oh well, as any Canadian will tell ya when faced with a situation he/she finds boring, "What can you do?"

Indeed. It's only 30-40 per cent of the trees in the province that are in danger. It's not as if it's 100 per cent! And losing all those trees is actually a small price to pay, if it means Dalton McGuinty remains steadfast and true as he leads his P.O.O.s (Peasants Of Ontario) into the treeless, plantless, and lawnless 21st Century.