This is not a new story - it's several weeks old after all - but as a concerned and caring parent I think we need to pull our collective head out of the proverbial sand and admit that our children run the risk of dying at the hands of out of control gun-wielding gym teachers.
According to a moderate and intelligent website, the fact that starter pistols are used to, um, start races is an affront to all that is decent and Canadian. Why, just the "symbolism" of a pistol at a track meet could very well lead our little angels and angelfishies to a life of crime, degradation, and maybe even - gasp - conservatism!
As is noted in the well written and objective article, "...the movement to ban the gun because of its deadly symbolism includes someone who literally has pulled the trigger to start foot races for thousands of high school athletes across Ontario."
My heart stopped when I read this shocking news. Well not literally stopped; or I'd be an ex-parrot. I just felt so sorry for this poor fellow who has to live with the fact that he LITERALLY (as opposed to figuratively, one would suppose) pulled the trigger - on thousands of high school athletes! Isn't that tantamount to Possibly Literal Trackicide?
Symbolism: what a terrible burden to bear.
What heroes these "men" are for owning up to their misdeeds. Firing toy guns to start a race, then having the moral fibre to confess (years later), that what they did was tantamount to symbolic murder!
"'We don't need people standing around with (pistols) - those days are done,' said Brian Keaveney, a former teacher and an internationally ranked starter who has his own pistol."
Wow. What a hero. A round of Medals of Bravery for my frenzzzzzz!
Yes, yes, I know. I make the jokes and we all laugh, because "making the jokes" is a good way of avoiding discussion of the subject. And avoiding any discussion about serious issues is the Canadian way.
Who wants to bet that by this time next year Dalton will have banned these pistols, and nobody will have said a bloody word? He did it with pesticides, the 0.05% blood alcohol limit, and the health tax.
Ontarians are the dullest dullards to be found this side of Quahog.
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It's bad enough that kids don't get track and field until grade 7, because it is competition, and some kids might not win a ribbon, but starter guns?
ReplyDeleteThese people are crazy.
With all the shootings and killings in Ontario we are still waiting to learn which gun club they belonged to.
ReplyDeleteAnd will they be subject to the gun registry?
ReplyDelete