Driving Missus Ottawan

Yesterday, my lovely wife Windemere and I were tired of the children and their incessant whinging for food and shelter, so we decided to go for a drive outside the city limits.

Adventurous we may be, but we left the safety of Inner Ottawa with some trepidation. We were concerned about what we might discover outside the city’s boundaries. Will there be banditos? Rapists? Usurpers? Pretenders? Will we come across a highwayman?

Well that last fear was short-lived, as we drove east towards Rockland on the “highway”. The roads were so terrible that Windemere’s bladder was sloshing about like a half-empty ballast tank experiencing free surface effect. Thank God (no offence to the Globe & Mail Gary Goodyear Haters) that we don’t sport dentures, or they would not only have been floatin’, they’d a been shaken loose!

So instead of looking at the wonderful scenery I spent much of the afternoon doing the slalom routine as I dodged crater-sized potholes, and as Windermere shouted out the various houses that were for sale.

But the ice cream was good! (We stopped at a Quebec style “Bar Laitier” and it brought back memories of, um, Quebec. Why can’t you find these things in Ottawa? It’s either DQ or Baskin & Robbins, where the service is crap most of the time.)

So we rattled our way home after having shaken the bejezus out of our poor mini-van. I couldn’t help but wonder if the citizens of this village will ever demand better services from our city? Why are the roads of the nation’s capital so third worldish?

Stupid questions, I realized. Because when you ask that of most people around here, they’re always quick with an excuse. “Well you know, it’s worse in Cambodia.” “Well of course the roads are bad, because we live in a northern climate.” “Well the reason they don’t spend money on the roads is because they have none.” And on and on.

But we can get free trees from the city to plant in our yards!

A culture of excuses seems to be the Canadian way. Don’t question or complain. Stay positive and believe in your government(s). “There’s nothing you can do so why bother?”

Bloody Lovely.

On a POSITIVE NOTE: Happy Birthday Captain!!